Once again, I found myself hidden under my big comforter, unable to stop the tears from falling. To anyone who didn’t know better, it would seem as though my heart was broken, and I was grieving. In a way, this was the case, but it was not your typical heartbreak. This heartbreak was different entirely, and I was mourning something I (technically) had not lost yet.
The past year of my life had been spent adventuring with someone I considered to be my frenemy. It was someone I turned to with every new development in my life, good and bad. It was someone who knew me. It was someone who loved in all glory and all shame. But We didnt loved each other as we supposed to.
Of course, many people may think this makes us a heartless and selfish partner. They’re probably right. For a year, I had given him my everything, everything I could possibly offer.. Every thought was of him. I had completely neglected myself, my needs, my wants, and it had all comeback to bite me in the ass.
By nature, I am not a selfish person, but it was painfully clear that at that moment, I needed to be selfish. I needed to do it for my sake and for his.
I will never stop appreciating what an amazing person he is, and I still have a deep respect for him. If I didn’t, falling out of love with him would not have shattered my heart the way it did.
(ED)
