How It’s Possible To Move On From A Relationship Without Closure

Is it necessary to get closure from broken relationships? Whether it’s a horrible breakup with your long-term boyfriend, or cutting ties with anyone else in your life, you may feel the urge to seek some solace in one final talk, if you will.

You’ll likely want to address the situation with this person, possibly to find a resolution, or simply to beat a dead horse — whichever comes first.

I get it; I know the feeling all too well.

Closure brings comfort. It makes you feel as though justice got served. But, the reality is closure makes us feel like our final decision to cut ties was, indeed, the right thing to do.

Closure is confirmation.

When you gain closure, you feel confident you are moving in the right direction, allowing yourself to move forward on a new path.

But, there is a tough pill to swallow here: Closure might not ever come, and you shouldn’t expect it.

Once you end the relationship, your ex has no obligation, whatsoever, to supply the final words you so desire.

If that one last talk never comes, you shouldn’t try to force it, as doing so will likely make things worse. You might end up in a uglier situation than before the attempt.

Trying to force closure in a previous relationship made me seem like a crazy, desperate stalker. You definitely don’t want that unless you’re prepared to burn a bridge (or a village, depending on how aggressive you are at beating the dead horse), which is no bueno.

Keep your dignity and refrain from forcing.

[E.D]

The Pain Of Being In Love With Someone You Can Never Be With

Love is a tricky thing. It varies in intensity and in the specificity of emotions. It is sometimes the most beautiful thing in the world and, at other times, it’s the most horrid thing we’ve ever come face-to-face with.
It’s odd how one thing could be the cause of so many contrary feelings. But that’s what makes love so beautiful – it’s the closest thing to perfection that exists in the world, the only thing that can easily and comfortably encompass both good and evil, beautiful and ugly.

It’s the closest thing to a flawless whole that man has ever claimed to have been part of.
When we think of love, we think of the happy kind of love, the kind that is the beginning of something beautiful – something that breathes life.

There is, however, another kind of love, a much darker and sadder kind of love. It’s the love one feels when one loves someone he or she can never and will never have.
It’s the kind of love that doesn’t signal the beginning of something beautiful, but rather the end of something that might have been beautiful, but will never amount to anything more than what it is.

Contrary to popular belief or popular wishful thinking, love doesn’t always end happily. It doesn’t always result in the joining of two people, the fusing of two lives into one.

Sometimes, on rare occasions, it results in the wedging apart of the two who love each other the most. You can love someone with all your soul and never get a chance to be with that person. Even worse, you can know that you love him or her, understanding there is no possibility that the two of you will ever be together.
Some people cannot and will not ever end up together, even if they do love each other. It’s a sad truth, but a truth, nonetheless.

The fact is, love is not enough. All those fairytales, all those stories and movies you’ve heard and watched growing up, lied to you. Love is never enough because love is not rational.
You hear that love is irrational all the time, yet you still hear the same people saying that love is enough to keep two people together.

Unfortunately, we live in a world governed by rationality, and while love may be irrational, and we may manage to make it work for some time, the real world always catches up with us and our irrational illusions dissipate into thin air.

Then we are left with reality and reality doesn’t always reason the way lovers do.
Some people don’t work out together. They have habits or beliefs that make it impossible to co-habitate with the person they love. There isn’t a couple out there that loves every little thing about one another.
Sure, they may find certain quirks cute or unique, but they don’t love them; they simply accept them. There are some people who have such habits, tendencies, or thinking patterns that really do make them incompatible with the other person.

The two may love each other fully, because remember, love isn’t rational, yet not be able to live and deal with each other forever. This is why relationships require compromise.

You’re not going to love everything about the person you are with, but you love enough about him or her to live with the things you don’t love. Not all people are willing to, or even able to, compromise. Sometimes it just doesn’t work, regardless of what our emotions tell us.

Compromising, of course, is a choice. You either choose to make it work or you choose not to. I believe this fully. As long as something doesn’t go against your nature, over time you can make it work. But there are still some cases when compromising isn’t enough.

Sometimes there are other reasons two people cannot and will not ever be together. In fact, this is usually the deciding factor of whether or not two lovers will be capable of spending their lives together: if they are able to forgive and forget.

Because love is as intense an emotion as one gets, it occasionally leads us to make poor choices – choices that are hurtful to the ones we love.

They may be poor calls of judgment, lies we told or things we said. When it comes to love, our pasts haunt us. We move from relationship to relationship, hauling all that luggage we managed to accumulate in our previous relationship.

Because lovers who can’t work together don’t like to accept this fact, they have a tendency of breaking up and getting back together repeatedly.

Each time they take a break from each other, they come back and try to start fresh. But the problem is, they’re still carrying all that luggage. And sooner or later, they start to unpack. All the demons come out.
When love scars, it cuts deep. The pain isn’t easily forgotten and usually cannot be willfully forgotten. When you hurt the woman you love enough, she won’t come back to you. And because you still love her, you wouldn’t take her back even if she asked you to.

You don’t trust yourself not to hurt her again and even if you did, she wouldn’t trust you not to hurt her again. Relationships are built on trust and you shattered her trust.
Chances are, you both have bruises that have never fully healed and likely will never fully heal. And that’s just something you decided that you’ll have to live with. Why?

Because you really don’t have any other options. You just hope that the two of you find others to love so you can think about each other less and so you don’t have to worry about her happiness anymore.
You wait in hopes that new love can take the place of the old — which it can. But that doesn’t mean you will ever stop loving each other. Some people will love each other until the day they die, spending the majority of their lives apart. And so is the darker side of love.-elitedaily.com





"sometimes, the darker side of love hurts us so much that it completely ruin the innermost of you. that it will come to the point that you will no longer think of yourself and your happiness. the pain that you never imagine that you'll get until this very day that you realized you were completely destroyed. and you are trying to get up, trying to pick up your self and start all over again."

MISCONCEPTIONS

   

We love giving out advice, but most of us don’t take it. We give, but never take. What’s up with that? Now, think about life. What if we had listened to a few that really did make sense (and right, for what it’s worth), would we be happier? Maybe — but isn’t life about making it yours? -thoughtcatalog.com

Today's life adventure was just like the any other ordinary days of my life. I had so much of school stuffs and pigging out. Its like a habitual day to day activity but then Ive realized that I'm starting to get fed up with my so thought and believed awesome life. A regular happening that I'll forget as the time goes by.

As we dvanced in years, life is getting more and more tangled and impenetrable. We misconcept things, gave advices and opinions that we thought's the best for everybody, we commit mistakes that we or will not regret in the future, but little did we know, these were just the perks of getting older.

We get assosiated with such situations that we infatuated the best, the greatest.

My Untitled Post

Madali kang maile-let go ng tao tingnan mo, kasi yung akala mong mahal ka minsan nabubulagan ka lang pala sa mga efforts niya sayo. Paano mo masasabing mahal ka niya eh hindi ka niya nga maipakilala sa pamilya niya, hindi niya nga maipahiram yung cellphone niya sayo, at iba pang mga simpleng bagay. Pano mo masasabing magiging maligaya ka kasama yung tao eh ni hindi mo nga masabi sa kanya na “akin ka lang” dahil alam mong merong iba, yung hindi mo maisip kung anong future niyong dalawa dahil “hindi naman talaga kayong dalawa lang”. Masaya ka kasi nararamdaman mo yung mga efforts na di mo naranasan noon, yung alaga, yung concern pero ikaw din naman ang may kasalanan dahil sa umpisa pa lang alam mong maling mali pinasok mo, alam mong masasaktan ka.

                Sa madaling salita, nasasaktan ako ngayon. Lalo na yung taong pinagkatiwalaan ko ng sarili ko yung magiging dahilan pa para mabawasan ang respeto ko sa sarili ko. Yung kinapalan mo na nga ang mukha mo pati balat mo para mahalin siya sa kabila ng alam mong meron siyang iba pero wala pa rin. Nasan na yung talino ko? Ngayon nagiging corny na naman ako para sabihin na nakakabobo talaga mag mahal. Yung inalagaan at pinalaki ka ng mga magulang mo para gaguhin lang ng ibang tao. Naiiyak akong isipin bakit ako pumapayag lang sa ganito, ito ba talaga yung deserve ko? Bakit pumapayag ako na walang plano ang isang tao para sa akin, bakit pumapayag ako na nahihirapan ako sa bagay na alam ko naman sa umpisa pa lang na wala ng patutunguhan.

                NAKAKAIYAK.